We've all heard some sour puss exclaim "Valentines Day is a corporate holiday! Don't support the greeting card companies! I'm obviously single and not getting laid so you all must be miserable with me!"
People need to stop thinking of valentines day as anything but a day to be with the people you love. And others will chime in with "Why can't we do that every day? Why does it have to be Valentines Day?" To which I reply, because you touch yourself at night.
But seriously. That retort doesn't work because the fact of the matter is a very small portion of people do nice things for their loved ones with any regularity. Think of what would happen if Vday was taken off the books. Men would have more money in their pockets come February 15th. Women would sulk because their boyfriends are never romantic. The chocolate, flower and paper industries would suffer. THE HORROR.
You know, being the cynic that I am, you'd think I was anti-Vday like the previously mentioned virgin jerkoffs. But actually, I'm all for it. For the reasons mentioned above. Everyone needs lovin', and Valentines Day is a way to make sure the people who love you won't forget to give said lovin'. Plus, who DOESN'T like chocolate, candy, flowers, jewelry, whatever, PLUS sappy words in a card every now and then?? No one, that's who.
I apologize for the shortness of this entry, but that's really all I have to say. Way to pick a lame topic Andy! Try again.
I do propose, however, that you and I (Andrew) celebrate between Februarly 17th and the 20th, for this simple reason: Shit's on sale. Saaaale. I can't tell you how much delicious candy and how many nice cards we could get for insanely low prices after Vday. Plus, our anniversary is on the 20th anyway, so why not just make it a three day chocolate binge. Deal? Deal.
February 27, 2008
February 14, 2008
Happy Love Day Everyone!
Topic 5: Valentines Day, Romantic Evening, or Corporate Scheming?
We've all heard it once or twice before, the idea that Valentines Day was created by the greeting card companies to sell us carboard boxes filled with almost-cardboard candies. When I first heard that idea, I just shrugged it off with the assumtion that whomever said it was a little valentine-less this year. But what with these new anti-holiday fads that seem to be cropping up, like the war on Christmas and whatnot, I thought it deserved a little more thought.
First off, a quick read through the history of Valentines Day seems to negate any real theories that the holiday came into fashion, or even just the card-exchanging aspect of it, for the sole purpose of profit padding. It seems that the idea of a St Valentines Day being associated with love actually originated as far back as Chaucer. And add the fact that jewelry didn't really become associated with the holiday until the diamond industry started suggesting the idea as a gift in the mid 1980's, well that seems, at least to me, to further negate the idea of a corporate-birthed holiday.
But this isn't about history. And while one can argue the true reasons and inception of the original card-exchanging tradition, it's much harder to argue against the notion of a greeting card company putting the pressure on men and women with too much gift-related doubt and too much green in their wallets. People say it's strange, or unfair, or even wrong, for couples to be expecting gifts from one another; that it's immoral for a company to suggest that one certain gift will make your mate love you more, while not purchasing it might just put the kaibosh on your chances at scoring on the holiest of February's holy days. Personally, I can't think of many things less worth getting worked up about.
I honestly just don't see how people can get worked up and upset at the idea of a day where common practice is to spend time with someone you love and exchanging cards, pleasantries, gifts, and bodily fluids. I'm all for it, I think we need more holidays where I buy crap for my special lady, wax mushy over my ramshackle attempt at panang curry, and expect sweet sweet lovin before one of us zonks out from too much bubbly. Once a month, we should all exchange gifts, go out to dinner, and score. Think of how much happier your life might go, knowing that every month you had at minimum one solid shot at a romantic evening.
And as a side bonus, we wouldn't have to deal with crappy movie trailers where women with three names ending in “Parker” say things like “I'm not going to spend another Valentines day alone” while that Natalie Imbruglia song plays in the background.
We've all heard it once or twice before, the idea that Valentines Day was created by the greeting card companies to sell us carboard boxes filled with almost-cardboard candies. When I first heard that idea, I just shrugged it off with the assumtion that whomever said it was a little valentine-less this year. But what with these new anti-holiday fads that seem to be cropping up, like the war on Christmas and whatnot, I thought it deserved a little more thought.
First off, a quick read through the history of Valentines Day seems to negate any real theories that the holiday came into fashion, or even just the card-exchanging aspect of it, for the sole purpose of profit padding. It seems that the idea of a St Valentines Day being associated with love actually originated as far back as Chaucer. And add the fact that jewelry didn't really become associated with the holiday until the diamond industry started suggesting the idea as a gift in the mid 1980's, well that seems, at least to me, to further negate the idea of a corporate-birthed holiday.
But this isn't about history. And while one can argue the true reasons and inception of the original card-exchanging tradition, it's much harder to argue against the notion of a greeting card company putting the pressure on men and women with too much gift-related doubt and too much green in their wallets. People say it's strange, or unfair, or even wrong, for couples to be expecting gifts from one another; that it's immoral for a company to suggest that one certain gift will make your mate love you more, while not purchasing it might just put the kaibosh on your chances at scoring on the holiest of February's holy days. Personally, I can't think of many things less worth getting worked up about.
I honestly just don't see how people can get worked up and upset at the idea of a day where common practice is to spend time with someone you love and exchanging cards, pleasantries, gifts, and bodily fluids. I'm all for it, I think we need more holidays where I buy crap for my special lady, wax mushy over my ramshackle attempt at panang curry, and expect sweet sweet lovin before one of us zonks out from too much bubbly. Once a month, we should all exchange gifts, go out to dinner, and score. Think of how much happier your life might go, knowing that every month you had at minimum one solid shot at a romantic evening.
And as a side bonus, we wouldn't have to deal with crappy movie trailers where women with three names ending in “Parker” say things like “I'm not going to spend another Valentines day alone” while that Natalie Imbruglia song plays in the background.
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