I would have let you, it if you had just asked first

Topic #9: Immigration and the US of A

Immigration is a tricky subject, and quite controversial. I know this because whenever they mention it on local and national talk radio programs, they’re always kind enough to preface it with “Immigration is a tricky subject, and quite controversial.”

It’s difficult to discuss an issue so massive that affects so many people without using a term that I personally coined that goes a little something like this: “Moral Blackmail”. Any time a subject comes up that affects people in any way shape or form, if you spend enough time, you can find someone who makes the whole issue, no matter how apparently simple and clear-cut, seem the complete wrong way ‘round. 

Take prescription medication, for example. Every year billions of dollars are spent in research and development for medication that is being developed for the simple purpose of putting on the open market for people to purchase, ingest, and relieve whatever ails them. Even a drug that only affects one in a million people, still affected that one person. And if you put them up on the podium to tell their horrifying story of how they were just trying to live a healthy life, and how those bloodsucking prescription drug companies gave them a drug that gave them heart failure and anal leakage, suddenly any logic or reason goes out the window. “How can you tell this little boy that what happened to him was ok?” they’ll ask you. And you won’t have an answer, because if you do, people with hearts so bleeding they wear only red will beat you with rhetoric and sticks.

What does this have to do with immigration, you ask? Hold your damn horses, I’m getting to that.

It’s so easy for anyone that’s pro-immigration to make a few short documentaries about a family that snuck across the border from Mexico to try and make a better life for their family, subsisting on nothing but Wal-Mart food and good intentions. But the fact of the matter is that they’re cheating, they’re not following the rules, and in America (pronounced A-merh-i-cah) we frown upon that.

We have a system in place for people to immigrate legally into this country, become American citizens, and live a lifestyle in harmony with their work-ethic and abilities. Thousands of people every year come into this country legally and, through the proper channels, enter the workforce and actually live that American dream we all hear about in video-picture films.

I know it’s not a fun idea to think about the people whose lives would be changed negatively by their illegal immigration being punished, but that was a risk that they took when they crossed the border illegally. If I rob a convenience store, whether I use the money to buy drugs, or to feed my starving family, I’ve still robbed a convenience store. It’s not the intentions that matter, but the act itself.

Illegal immigration is making it easier for corporations and private business owners alike to hire workers below fair-market wages. Now I’m about as “pro” minimum wage as I am pro-eating my own foot, but in a situation like this, allowing outside laborers to come into the country illegally, and work off the books for under fair-market wages is anti-capitalism. It hurts supply and demand, and that hurts everyone.

Sure they’re taking jobs that most Americans don’t actually want, but that’s irrelevant. Imagine there was no illegal labor. And imagine that Americans still didn’t want those jobs. Either those employers would have to offer better wages for those jobs, making them more attractive to potential employees, or they’d have to go out of business. Guess which they’d probably choose. That’s how an economy works, jobs that are unattractive and pay poorly don’t get staffed until they’re more attractive, or until they pay better.

Yes, we’re all immigrants to some degree, for the most part. And yes there are some illegals that are making important contributions to society in some way or another. But, again, that’s not the issue. The issue is they’re violating the law. We’re not asking them to say The Pledge every day at dinner, and we’re not asking them strap American flags to their porches. America (pronounced Awesome-Land) is like any other kick-ass club, you don’t need to become a clone of every other member, just pay your monthly dues, follow the rules, and sign the guestbook when you get in.